According to the American Psychological Association half of more of U.S. Adults report signs of loneliness. Loneliness does not just affect how we feel, it can also keep the body under persistent stress. Chronic stress can influence appetite, food choices, sleep, and eating behaviors.
Being “alone” is different from “being lonely”. The first is a physical state where you are physically by yourself and it can offer the opportunity for self-reflection and relaxation. “Being lonely is an emotional state where you feel alone, disconnected from others, or unrelatable, or not relevant. Chronic stress, be it from loneliness, work, family, or other sources can affect nearly ever system of the body according to the American Psychological Association.
Stress, as defined by the American Psychological Association; “the physiological or psychological response to internal or external stressors. Stress involves changes affecting nearly every system of the body, influencing how people feel and behave.”
Once the word behave appears on the radar of weight loss and dieting, an entirely different perspective comes into focus…Behavioral Nutrition. After all, a considerable part of our lives revolves around food, and our eating habits are shaped by far more than hunger alone.
Stress, for example, is a normal response to everyday pressures and challenges, but when it becomes overwhelming, it can disrupt our relationships, work, emotional well-being, and, perhaps most importantly, our relationship with food. Stress can drive us to eat when we are not hungry, seek comfort in food, and abandon healthy routines.
What begins as an occasional response to life’s pressures can develop into a cycle of emotional eating, frustration, guilt, and further stress. This is where Behavioral Nutrition becomes especially important, not simply in changing what we eat, but in understanding why we eat and how to change the behaviors that undermine lasting weight management.
Sometimes it’s not about what you are eating, but what is eating you. Is it natural to turn to food for comfort? Once in a while we all become food therapists if only when having a bowl of hot, comforting, chicken soup on a dreary, gray, low-cloud rainy day. The food is actually making me feel better…is it really a problem?
Ultimately, food therapy does not work. You may feel better for a few moments but, once the food is gone and the taste has left your mouth, the original problem remains. If food is your “Quantum of Solace”, you are confusing immediate pleasure with long term happiness. The alcohol addict who takes that first drink and the dangerously overweight person that eats an entire bag of cookies both believe they’re indulging in pleasures, but they are destructive pleasures that will eventually cost more than the pleasure was worth.
When you eat because of someone or some feeling, you are giving that person or that feeling power over you. Calories cannot make you happy. Food cannot resolve stressful situations, food will not help you cope, food will not teach you new skills to deal with stress, food will not repair relationships. As long as eating is tied to emotions, you will never achieve a stable weight. Your weight will change as often as your emotions do. Use of any diet, weight loss program, medicine, or even injections – no matter how sound – will be as futile as trying to build a castle in the sand; it will be swept away with the next wave of emotion.
Mood and Food
Many of my mood-eating clients find it very helpful to mentally rehearse what they expect to encounter from a stressful person or situation. If it’s a person who is surely going to give you grief, you can tell yourself: “I know what they are going to say and how they are going to react.” You can rehearse the words you fear hearing in your own mind until they lose their power to provoke you.
Also, rehearse what you will say or do in response. Mentally walking yourself through a dreaded situation several times in advance can dispel a lot of anxiety and make you feel confident of your ability to control the situation, including your eating. What could be a mental walkthrough? “What will I wear? What emotion do I want to express? How will I keep control? What expression will I wear on my face? What point do I need to hold? What will I say or do in response? What will bring peace to me and the situation or person?“
We know that stress is part of life, and not every stressful day comes with a warning. Life happens. It throws fastballs, curveballs, forkballs, breaking balls, and perhaps the most unpredictable pitch of all—the screwball. Unorthodox, difficult to anticipate, and potentially punishing for both pitcher and batter, the screwball reminds us that life rarely follows a predictable playbook.
But winners in weight control don’t allow the unexpected to catch them unprepared. They understand that while they cannot control every stressful situation, they can prepare for how they will respond. “Strategy is stronger than willpower” is the motto my former emotional eaters have learned to live by. They have discovered the power of anticipating challenges, preparing strategies, and preventing life’s inevitable stresses from becoming unwanted pounds.
Strategies to Beat Stress
Frustration, anger, sadness are powerful triggers of self-destructive and uncontrolled eating if you are a person who eats to relieve stress and frustration. It is time to discover some alternative stress busters. Indulge yourself a bit. Buy yourself a dart board and the next time you’re frustrated, hurl darts at that board. Designate a pillow as your punching bag – name it after your boss if that will help. Save old newspapers for recycling and tear them to shreds when you’re angry. If simply having something in your hand seems to help take up needlepoint crochet or knitting, get yourself some sort of tactile toy and keep it around the house. Special stress busting paraphernalia can be found at specialty stores.
Decide now, right now, that the next time you feel a bad mood rising, you’ll spend a few minutes with a favorite activity especially one that occupies your hands. If you haven’t done it already, create a list of your friends’ telephone numbers. Place them on speed dial so that you can dial them easily when stress next hits and then you can join the winners’ circle of weight control. Whenever you use strategy, it puts you in control. Strategy empowers you to deal with the agenda and the chaos of life. You are no longer reacting as a victim, you are not taking orders from food, or anyone or anything else, but you are a leader in the life of you.
Lasting weight loss begins with understanding that changing what you eat is only part of the solution. Changing how you behave around food is equally important. Stress may be unavoidable, but stress-driven eating does not have to be. Behavioral Nutrition provides practical strategies to identify emotional triggers, break unhealthy eating patterns, and develop habits that support long-term weight management.
You cannot always control the pressures in your life, but you can learn to control how you respond to them. If stress, emotional eating, or repeated setbacks are standing between you and your weight-loss goals, it’s time for a different strategy. Contact Dr. Stephen Gullo today to discover how Behavioral Nutrition can help you take control of your eating habits, your weight, and your health.